Dear Ameri-Bank customers,
In light of recent fraudulent activity in the Ameri-Bank system, we are taking additional security precautions. That is why, before logging into your account, we ask that you select from the following security questions:
What is your childhood pet’s real name?
What street did you really grow up on?
What is really your favorite Jane Austen novel?
Who is your least favorite nephew?
What was the last name of your first grade teacher’s second husband?
What was your mother’s maiden waist size?
What street would you have preferred to grow up on?
What is your youngest daughter’s wingspan?
Who is your eldest son’s favorite dad?
What street did you really grow up on?
What is really your favorite Jane Austen novel?
Who is your least favorite nephew?
What was the last name of your first grade teacher’s second husband?
What was your mother’s maiden waist size?
What street would you have preferred to grow up on?
What is your youngest daughter’s wingspan?
Who is your eldest son’s favorite dad?
If you could be any animal, what is that animal’s middle name?
What is your porno name? (Middle name + Street you grew up on)
What is your circus name? (Name of your most German relative + Wacky noise)
What is your pet’s porno name? (Regular pet name + “St. Cloud”)
If you could have lunch with any black U.S. President, who would it be?
If you could have lunch with Albert Einstein or Adolf Hitler, what would you order?
Are you even hungry?
What is your favorite Will Smith golf movie?
Who is your all-time favorite city comptroller?
What is your least favorite ethnicity?
If you could travel anywhere in the world, wouldn’t that be great?
On what day are you going to die?
Who is your favorite Wu-Tang Clan member, excluding O.D.B., Ghostface, Rza, Gza, Raekwon, and Method Man?
What is Mario Lopez’s greatest asset?
Hey, remember Deion Sanders?
He was the best.
So what do you bench?
Squat?
What about pull-ups? How many pull-ups can you do?
And what’s your middle name again?
“Guinevere”? Huh. That’s cool.
Are you single?
Looking to meet someone?
What’s your opinion of I.T. guys who work at banks?
I see.
Well, good luck accessing your account.
What is your porno name? (Middle name + Street you grew up on)
What is your circus name? (Name of your most German relative + Wacky noise)
What is your pet’s porno name? (Regular pet name + “St. Cloud”)
If you could have lunch with any black U.S. President, who would it be?
If you could have lunch with Albert Einstein or Adolf Hitler, what would you order?
Are you even hungry?
What is your favorite Will Smith golf movie?
Who is your all-time favorite city comptroller?
What is your least favorite ethnicity?
If you could travel anywhere in the world, wouldn’t that be great?
On what day are you going to die?
Who is your favorite Wu-Tang Clan member, excluding O.D.B., Ghostface, Rza, Gza, Raekwon, and Method Man?
What is Mario Lopez’s greatest asset?
Hey, remember Deion Sanders?
He was the best.
So what do you bench?
Squat?
What about pull-ups? How many pull-ups can you do?
And what’s your middle name again?
“Guinevere”? Huh. That’s cool.
Are you single?
Looking to meet someone?
What’s your opinion of I.T. guys who work at banks?
I see.
Well, good luck accessing your account.
Illustration by Maximilian Bode.
Read more http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/shouts/2012/04/a-few-more-bank-security-questions.html#ixzz210kRAIAs
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