ANDY MAKES MORE SENSE THAN THE 'REAL' NEWS REPORTING

		August 15, 2011 Iowans Thought They Were Voting for ‘Batman’ Surprising Results of Exit Polls AMES, IOWA (The Borowitz Report) – Exit polls taken after the Iowa straw poll may hold the key to explaining the contest’s surprising results, as a majority of Iowans said they thought they were voting for “Batman.” “By a wide margin, Iowans were under the impression that they were casting votes for the caped crusader,” said pollster Davis Logsdon of the Opinion Research Institute. “But at the end of the day, they wound up voting for a different comic-book character altogether.” The Iowa straw poll has reshaped the race for the Republican presidential nomination, with former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty withdrawing after a new poll showed he had only three percent name recognition among members of his immediate family. Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin made a campaign swing through the state today, urging voters not to defect to her new rival, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn): “Don’t forget, my fellow Americans, I was a moron before it was cool.” For her part, Rep. Bachmann gave a major address on science and the humanities today in which she declared the Renaissance unconstitutional. “I have good reason not to believe in evolution,” she said. “It’s really let me down.”